This is Colleen talking to the girls about how boys think. She used the illustration of a guys mind being like an itouch/iphone that stores pictures, but can't be erased. These pictures are not always ones they intend to take, they are wired differently than girls. Boys are visual...girl are emotional. A boys brain will take a picture, and often "finish" a picture and this image can be pulled up at any time, and often it will pop back into their brains without them trying to recall it. She told the girls that it was proved in advertisement that one thing could get people to look at a page 30% longer, one little thing that you add to a page gets more visual time....a woman. She asked what they thought happened when girls wore a shirt that had "Juicy" or any other writing across the "girls"? It makes the eyes go to the writing. Across the butt, you have cheer, pink, or any other writing....eyes go to the writing. Why are we advertising our chest and our butt? When a girls has a thong that sticks out of her pants, it creates a V or arrow down to whats beneath. A boy will see this and finish the picture. Cleavage showing from a shirt that too low or too many buttons undone, a boy will see this and finish the picture. You may only be trying to get "the hot guy" across the rom to notice you by wearing a short skirt or low top, but you have assaulted every male in-between with images.
Colleen talked about the Gestalt theory about how your brian fills in information and forms a picture.
She asked what the girls thought this picture was. One eye and two frowns, a person with their hands up were two that came up. She said it was two parenthesis and a period, but everyone's mind made some type of picture out of it, they "finished it".
The overwhelming response to this picture was that it was a triangle. Colleen said it was three pac-man images in a pattern, everyones' mind "finished the picture".
This is how boys/men/christian/non-christian are wired, to finish the picture that they see.
She talked about how her husband is a teacher in a public school and that he is assaulted every day. The girls came up with many different ways they thought he could be assaulted..verbally, physically....but Colleen said he was visually assaulted by what the girls wore every day. Her husband has a saying about underwear..If he knows the color, shape, or size, he knows too much. She used the jello mold scenario. If you look at the pattern of this jello mold, do you have any doubt about what the jello will look like when it comes out?
When you pour your self into pants and tops, there is no mystery as to what is underneath. The boys already have pictured it.
She also took a water balloon filled with water and pricked a small hole in it each time a girl gave away her heart emotionally/physically. She pricked it maybe 10-12 times, just small pricks to represent how many times a girl from 7th to married in 30's might give her heart to some boy. At the end, the balloon was very small compared to where it began, and she asked if this was what they wanted to give their husbands, just a portion that might be left or their whole heart.
This next part really freaked the girls out....she said that every boy they knew, they dated, or came across...was someone's future husband (chorus of eewww). Would you kiss etc, someone else's husband. Nobody has the right to take from you, or your spouse, that which God designed for marriage away from you.
She said she wished she had the letter that a young many had written his pastor. It was him asking for help because even at church he was assaulted with images, the one place he should not have to worry about. He asked the pastor to please help do something about it.
Jay Shaw then spoke to the girls and gave them a boys point of view. He started out by saying that your most important relationship was with Christ. Without Christ you would not be able to say no to the schemes of the devil.
He gave them the visual of the mist that hairspray sends out, he said our lives are but mist compared to eternity and that nothing can match the love of God. He talked about how some people try to fill their hearts with people, if "so and so" just loved me, then I'll be okay. People don't fill the whole in your heart because it is a God sized whole and only He can complete you.
He emphasized that guys are visual, they are driven by what they see. He talked about 2 Samuel 11. One evening David got up from his bed and walked around on the roof of the palace. From the roof he saw a woman bathing. The woman was very beautiful, 3 and David sent someone to find out about her. The man said, “She is Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam and the wife of Uriah the Hittite.” 4 Then David sent messengers to get her.
Jay points out that David did not send someone to find out what color she liked, what food or music she like, he didn't care about these things. He saw her and he wanted her. Jay asked the girls if they were taking a shower, would they leave the big window open to the outside or would they shut the shades? The girls have a responsibility also. Bathsheba had to know that she could be seen by anyone, yet she bathed there anyway. Girls need to close the shade.
He pointed out that if a guy sees it with his eyes, he has touched it with their mind.
(another chorus of ewww). There was a question & answer time, the girls could write the question down or ask Jay or Rachel.
The speakers did a great job of telling the girls that dating is not wrong, it is something to be used sparingly and with wisdom in what it opens you up to. They encouraged them to talk to their parents, or their small group leaders when they had questions.
Once the speakers were done, the girls headed outside to do smores on the fire pit.
Here is the official shot of the group
and then the silly one, you know they had to go there....
The girls then had a choice to watch a movie One night with the King (story of Ester) or go upstairs in one of the playrooms to talk. Maybe half of the girls feel asleep at some point while the other 1/2 stayed up laughing, screaming, playing pool, watching freaky friday, and I'm not sure what else. I think I may have gotten about 2 hours sleep.
Pancake time:
In the morning the Howard's were so sweet and cooked bacon and pancakes. We had chocolate chips, blueberry, strawberry, apples, grapes, whip cream, and syrup as toppings.
Some plates had quite the artistic flair.
(as you can see, a mini mustache has been drawn on her face....the price you pay for falling asleep)
It was a great time so be sure to thank the Howard's when you see them next, and be glad it wasn't you!!
